Anyone suffering with anxiety, whether in a mild or extreme form, will tell you it sucks. For me, the hardest part about it is trying to explain it to people. It is having to explain why my mind thinks illogically regarding certain situations when most people’s minds do not. It is having to explain why I can’t sleep at night because I lie in my bed panicking about minor things. It is having to explain that to “just stop panicking” is not a option, as much as I wish it was.
I signed up to the gym the other day. This might seem like a mundane detail of my daily life, but I am using it to try and explain my anxiety. The days leading up to my first day at the gym were a nightmare. I was constantly in a state of panic regarding how I would get to the gym, how I was meant to find the changing rooms if I had never been there before, how I was going to work the machines, what I was going to wear. I am not joking when I say that I laid in bed panicking over these details. When the day came, I almost didn’t go. I was in such state of constant anxiety that I thought it would be easier not to go. I however changed my own mind and headed out, and as you might guess, everything went fine. I wonder what an average person thinks when they read what I just wrote. Do they think I am overreacting about stupid little things? Do they understand?
I know people in my life try and understand my anxiety, but often, they don’t completely understand it. I don’t expect them to; to be honest, I think you need to suffer with anxiety yourself to really understand the turmoil an anxiety sufferer goes through. In my case, most people cannot get their head around the face that I move to a new country every few years and travel a lot throughout the year with no problem, but that something like going to the supermarket gives me anxiety. I wish I could tell them why that is, but the problem is I don’t know either. I don’t know why I can travel on my own for several days without a hint of anxiety, but have a minor panic attack when I have to cross the road. It makes no sense, I know that.
What are your thoughts on it? I am planning to write more articles on the subject on anxiety (for example; anxiety remedies) in the coming future, so let me know if you have any requests.