A while back, when I was having a particularly tough time with my anxiety, I wrote the below piece. At the time, I was really struggling with the though that my anxiety would never get better. I felt stuck. I found the piece again a few days ago, and I thought I would share it with you all. Let me know what you think. Can you relate?
What is anxiety? I feel like it’s a wall blocking my path to become a more sociable, active, and happy person. It is a wall I can’t see to go around, over, or under. The closer I come to the wall, the worst I feel. I feel shaky, on edge, and moody. I feel helpless, because I can’t control the wall. I can’t move the wall, I can’t make it disappear. Instead, the wall controls me. It controls my social life, my family life, my personal life. All I need now is a hammer, a hammer to knock the wall down. Problem is, that hammer does not seem to exist.